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Al Lee Wyer: News

Ladies Day - January 4, 2017

lead_gut_and_groupies.jpg

MAZIR E SARIF held it's first LADIES day BUZKASHI match yesterday afternoon.

FINAL SCORE MAZAR-- 2 Carcasses - QUANDAHAR -- 1 Cacass + 1/2 of a hindquarter --- minus tail

 MAZAR is hot having won it's last 4 matches by at least 1 goat carcass.

All Ladies attending the Match Received a bottle of INTOXICATED WAR LORD repellent

The WAR LORDS BALL AND CORTILLION followed the Match

LEAD GUT SPRINSTEIN And a Few of his Groupies threw out the first Goat Carcass (upi )

AMERICAS GOT TALENT - January 3, 2017

BESTOPPO HEADQUARTERS : GREAT AGAIN TOWER - NEW YORK CITY

HEINRICH LIEBENSTRAUM O'SHANNAHAN :

" NEIN FURHER - WE HAVE BOOKED THE ENTERTAINMENT FOR YOUR CORONATION "

" THAT'S AMAZING - SO GOOD - I KNOW WE HAVE SCOTT BAIO WHO ELSE HEINRICH ? "

" WE HAFF LEADGUT SCHPRINGSHTEIN FROM ZA CATSKILS - HE HOLDS THE RECORD FOR SINGIN BROWN EYED GIRL "

" 3000 TIMES MEIN FURHER "

" AMAZING - LEADGUT AND SCOTT STUPENDOUS UNBELIEVABLE "

ADVERTISE IN THE NEUTRAL ZONE - January 2, 2017

" CAPTAIN - STAR BASE 10 IS ATTEMPTING TO CONTACT US "

" ON SCEEN UHURA "

" KIRK HERE COMMADORE "

" KIRK - YOU ARE ORDERED TO TRANSPORT AMBASSADOR TRUMP TO THE NEUTRAL ZONE "

" THE AMBASSADOR RENTED THE FERNGAI OFFFICE SPACE IN THE NEUTRAL ZONE "

" I'M AWARE OF THAT CAMADORE - THE ENTERPRISE TRANSPORTED HIM TO THE
NEGOTIATIONS "

" WELL HE JUST PUT UP A HUGE TRUMP PROPERTIES SIGN AT THE ENTRANCE "

" THE FURENGAI ARE GOING BAT SHIT CRAZY "

GET OUT OF JAIL FREE - WEE - December 31, 2016

  

    OUTSIDE ( GREAT AGAIN TOWER )  New York City :

 

    " SHE'S NOT LOCKED UP - SHE'S NOT LOCKED UP - WHAT THE FUCK- U.S.A." ( cheers delerium )

       ( Unter Ober Grupen Furher  SCHMOKEN VERBOTEN)"  " UND ZO WE SEE - THE FURHER IS MERCIFULL "

       " WHAT THE FUCK - SHE'S NOT LOCKED UP - U.S.A.  WHAT THE FUCK - WHERES THE BEEF "

       " U.S.A. "    ( Delerium applause ) lock_her_up.png

 

BREITBART DOCTOR EPISODE 2 - December 30, 2016

     DR WASPERSON -  WE HAVE A PATIENT IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM SUFFERING SEVERE PAIN ON THE LEFT     SIDE OF HIS ASS "

  " HE HAS A TERRIBLE COUGH AS WELL "

 " ANOTHER LEFTIST ?  -   GIVE HIM AN ENEMA AND A COUGH DROP AND CALL ME IN THE MORNING NURSE    

    " 20 SAYS I MAKE THIS PUTT SCHMOKEN "

    " YA  HEIR DOCTOR  - I WILL TAKE THIS WAGER YA ? "

THE UHHH SOLUTION - December 29, 2016

 BESTOPPO HEADQUARTERS - GREAT AGAIN AVENUE NEW YORK CITY:

   " MEIN FURHER "

    " I AM WEALTHY HEINRICH - NICE OF YOU TO KEEP MENTIONING IT . "

      "  I JUST SPOKE TO BEE BEE  - AMAZING MAN  JUST FANTASTIC "

    " MEIN FURHER - THE JEWISH QUESTION MUST BE APPROACHED DELICATELY "

     " ISREAL IS PERFECT  HEINRICH WHAT AN ALLY  -  THE MORE SETTLEMENTS THE BETTER -  WE NEED A STRONG ISRAELI ALLY THEY'RE ALL THAT STANDS BETWEEN US AND THE ISLAMIC TERRORISTS - THE HOUNDS ARE AT THE GATE HEINRICH  "

       "   MAY I CONSULT WITH  STAFF CHIER ADOLPH BIZMARK CEASAR TO OFFER YOU A  POSSABLE ALTERNATIVE"

   "   PERHAPS A FINAL SALUTION TO THIS PROBLEM IN THE AREA SIR "

     " I LIKE ADOLPH  HES SMART  so smart "   " THAT KERRY IS A BUT WAAD - HAVE IT ON MY DESK BY THE 20TH "

      " WE'LL DO A MITZVAH " adolph_bizmark_ceasar1.jpg

Ceasar and HORSEFLY " RISK " Interview - December 28, 2016

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ADOLPH BIZMARK CEASAR ( TRUMP CHIEF OF STAFF ) AND BLITZKRIEG HORSEFLY of C.N.N. SAT DOWN FOR A ONE ON TWO INTERVIEW WITH NORTH KOREAN " BELOVED LEADER  " KIM JONG UN

 HORSEFLY :  " NOW MR. UN   "

" PLEASE BLITZKRIEG - JUST  CALL ME  JONG "

 : " WELL ALLRIGHT KIM - TELL ME -  WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO STEM THE FLOW OF ILLEGAL SOUTH KOREAN IMMIGRANTS  INTO NORTH KOREA ?  "

" WELL BLITZKRIEG -- WE GRANT THEM TEMPORARY WORK PERMIT --- AND THEN  WE LOCK THEM UP "

 ADOLPH BIZMARK CEASAR : " MAY I ASK YOU A HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION JONG "

  " OF COURSE ADOLPH--- AFTER ALL - ITS A FREE COUNTRY  "  " AND PLEASE CALL ME KIM "

    "  WELL UN -- YOU WAKE UP AT 3;00 IN THE MORNING AND ARE INFORMED THAT THE SOUTH KOREANS  ---THE CHINESE  --THE JAPANESE  -- AND THE AMERICANS ARE WITHIN 5 MILES OF PYONG YANG  -- WHAT DO YOU DO ? 

  " I ADJACENT MY ARMIES TO KAMCHUKA AND CASH IN MY CARDS  "

      BLITZKRIEG HORSEFLY :  " NOW THAT IS SIMPLY OUTRAGEOUS - YOUR REFERRING TO RISK THE MILITARY BOARD GAME BY MILTON BRADLEY " 

             " IT WAS A HYPOTHETICAL " ( ap )

WALLY - December 27, 2016

  " MR. PRESADENT : THE NEW PRESIDENT OF MEXICO IS IN THE LOBBY "

    " DOES HE HAVE A CHECK SCHMOKEN ? "

      " YA VOL MEIN FURHER  -  HIS NAME IS WALL Y  GOMEZ MENDEZ FRUJITA TAMALE REFRIED BEANS RODRIGUEZ '

      ' I'M BUSY NEGOTIATING A DEAL WITH THE KLINGONS - TAKE THE CHECK AND TELL HIM I'LL BE DOWN FOR THE CERIMONY WHEN THE WALLS FINISHED   "

      " AND TELL HIM IN MEXICAN - WE HAVE TO BE PRESIDENTIAL " 

      " YA VOL  MR PRESIDENT "

THE PARADE - December 26, 2016

   " ADOLPH "

     " YA VOL MEIN FUHRER "

    " YES I AM WEALTHY -  I WANT A PARAD ON THE WEST SIDE HIGHWAY SO CLOSE IT DOWN TOMORROW "

     " I WILL GET HEINRICH ON IT MACHT SHNELL MEIN FUHRER "

       "  HOW DO YOU SAY LOSER IN MEXICAN ADOLPH ? "

       " SHMUCKLINTON GAFAWWWW   TO VIN BY THREE MILLIONS AND YET LOSE ?  ZAT IS A LOSER MEIN FURHER "

    " ADOLPH YOUR SO GOOD -- SO GOOD "    " WHAT AN OBER GRUPPEN FURHER - AND YOUR NOT EVEN RICH "

BREITBART HOSPITAL - December 25, 2016

 " DOCTOR - WE HAVE A MEDICAL EMERGENCY"

 "  MY GOD DAMNED GOLF CLUB IS --  WHAT IS IT NURSE "

   " A PATIENT HAS ARRIVED WITH SEVERE PAINS ON THE LEFT SIDE OF HIS CHEST "

    " JEEEZ ANOTHER LEFTIST FAKING LIBERAL COMMIE -  O.K I'LL TAKE A LOOK "

      " DOCTOR -  I'M HAVING SHORTNESS OF BREATH AND PAINS UP MY ARMS "

       " ANY TIGHTNESS IN YOUR CHEST ? "

       " YES  -   TIGHTNESS "

        " HAVE YOU POOPED TODAY AND PRAYED ? "

West Side Glory - December 25, 2016

Kennedy_on_boat_in_ma.jpgand_the_youth_shall_lead_them.jpg 

 

         BESTOPPO HEADQUARTERS :  GREAT AGAIN TOWERS -- NYC

       " HEINRICH -  have you got that Muslim Register going Yet "

     "  MEIN FURHER - OBAMA HAS CHANGED ZE LAW   "

      " SAD  REALY  - so Sad - I SAID SUCH NICE THINGS ABOUT HIM  "

       " Get me RUDY On the Phone and keep a record of EVERONE who SIGNED UP FOR OBMACARE  WILL YOU"

        " YA VOL MEIN FURHER "   

       " I LIKE THAT FURHER - MEANS WEALTHY ONE - IN MEXICAN THEY TELL ME "

        " YOU KNOW  PUTIN COMPARES ME TO  PRESIDENT KENNEDY  --  Such  a Nice Letter - HOPE WE DON'T HAVE TO  NUKE HIM "   

             " WOULD BE MOST REGRETABLE MEIN FURHER "      

         

Private - December 23, 2016

" My PRIVATE SECURITY Deserves a Name  am I right ? "

 " Now I Like BEST - Because it's so Great  - Amazing "

 " Now STEVE likes STOPPO because it means Stop in Swahili - am I right Steve ? "

   " Yes Sir - Exactly "

    " So Smart "

    " So We're Going to Combine BEST and STOPPO am I right? - AMAZING "Der_Fuhrer_resized.jpg

Nomanclature - December 22, 2016

 " So from now on in the Interest of Saving Time - We will be referring to the SECRET SERVICE  Simply as the S.S. "

   " STEVE'S  Smart -   so Smart "

   " I mean think of all the time we'll save ?    Am I right ? " adolph_bizmark_ceasar1.jpg

Goose Stop - December 20, 2016

adolph_bizmark_ceasar.jpg   " So Now I have my Own SECURITY FORCE -  Steve Thinks IT'S an Amazing Idea so smart " 

   " He Say's we should keep the SECRET SERVICE ---  or as He likes to say the S.S. "

    " The S.S. will co ordinate with my Personal Security - We came up with a Name for Personal Security "

    " I like BEST and Steve Likes STOPPO "     " We think a Combination might work - it's Unbelievably smart "

Joint Chiefs - December 17, 2016

PRESIDENT_KENNEDY_AT_DESK_resized.jpgOCTOBER 1962 :  "

MR. PRESIDENT  -   Where have you Been. "

 " I - uh - Was in the FUTURE  on Something called THE  ENTERPRISE "

   " There was a POINTED EARED FELLOW   with a uh  - Never mind "  

 " We were just about to  BOMB THE SHIT Out of CUBA  as per AMBASSADOR  TRUMP'S  Orders "

  " AMBASSADOR TRUMP ?????     BELAY THAT ORDER !! "

    " And WHERE THE HELL IS PIERRE ?? "

The Commie Noodle - December 15, 2016

commie_noodle_resized.jpgCONSERVATIVE Radio Disc Jockey SEAN HANNITY was Surprised to find a Communist Noodle in his Bowl of Soup yesterday

    " It was at the Bottom of the Bowl Leaning NOTICEABLY LEFT "  

 BILL O'RIELLY Had a Similar Experience Last Week  " Direct  out of Chairman Maos Kitchen  grrrrrrr "

The lease - December 14, 2016

"Captain , Ambassador TRUMP just beamed aboard "

  " Oh no now what "

  " KIRK - I just made an unbelievable deal with The ROMULANS"

  " We're renting out the Neutral Zone"

   " They're renting to KLINGONS and We're renting g to the FURENGAI "

  " I don't trust the cheap bastards so POLTERGEESE me over with this Leas"

  " Gladly - Scotty --  ENERGIZE "fengi_for_trump.png

AIRFORCE 2 - December 12, 2016

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ADOLPH BIZMARK CEASAR -- President Trumps Chief of Staff -- reportedly Missed the Runway On His Flight to New York from Argentina Yesterday Afternoon

His re furbished ME 109 apparently came up Short on Final at TETERBOUROUGH Airport .

" If You can Valk away From a Landing it's a Good One YA ? "

     " What an OBER GRUPPEN FURHER Let me tell ya - Adolph is one hell of a Pilot"

   "  I'm gonna assign  him to Air Force One - and not the Overpriced Boeing Deal Either   "

          "  We're gonna save a FORTUNE ---   So smart "

TEA PARTY DATING SERVICE - December 11, 2016

Sengal white female - supports our troops an thenks Ofama is a Sodalist and barn en Kinya
Seeken a WHITE Patriut with own Flag.
No Feriners needs apply.
Mus luve god ---- I meen Jesus

O'Reilly finds Martian in soup - December 10, 2016

Claims by BILL O'REILLY that he discovered "Martians " in a can of Campbells Chicken Noodle Soup have been called " Inaccurate " by F.O.X. news.

" They were Venutians "

M.S.N.B.C. employee : " HE LIES ! "

O'REILLY claimed that the " ALIENS " were hiding behind a left leaning Noodle at the bottom of his soup bowl.

Chris Mathews M.S.N.B.C.  : " Tell me something I don't know "

" Was O'rielly's Dish a Left Leaning bowl made in China " is his new Book due out next year " KILLING NOODLE " gonna clear this up ? "

FOX Defends the Venutian Theory (upi) www.BillOReilly.com

Cool in the Coop - December 7, 2016

  ( NOJEWS-HERE ALABAMA )

      BUFORD BEARAGUARD :

    " THE TEPRATURE IN MY LIL OLE CHICKEN COOP DROPPED LAST NIGHT "

     " SO MUCH FER GLOBAL WARMIN chicken_coop_resized.jpg"  

(brietbart)

 

 

Joint Chiefs 1962 - December 6, 2016

   " MR PRESIDENT -  WE HAVE TO HIT CASTRO BEFORE THE MISSILES ARE OPERATIONAL "

   "   LET ME TELL YA GENERAL   - WE'RE GONNA BOMB THE SHIT OUT OF THEM AS SOON AS   SCHMOKIE CLOSES THE REAL ESTATE DEAL BELIEVE ME GENERAL "

     " TRUMP WHERE THE HELLS MY BROTHER  JACK ? "  

     " LET ME TELL YA BOBBY I THINK HE'S BEEN POLTERGEESTED UP TO THE ENTERPRISE  "

 "  FAT SLOB ROSIE O'DONNEL CHANGED TIME OR SOMETHING - ASK KIRK AND THAT FREAKY POINTY EARED GUY "

             " PIERRE - GET ME ADOLPH ON THE PHONE"    " HE'S SMART - SO SMART "hanging_out_at_the_rose_garden.jpg

 

The Explaination - December 5, 2016

143991151_enterprise__stock1.jpg  " So as We Explained Mr President  AMBASADOR TRUMP  Has Fallen Through a Hole in SpaceTime Created by Fat Slob ROSIE O'DONNEL"

     " Due to the CURRENTS it Created in Time Ambassador Trump is Now back in 1962 meeting with the Joint Chiefs "

  " He's apparently planning an Air Strike on CUBA "

 " ARE YOU uh -   K.G.B. ?  "   

   " AND WHERE THE HELL'S PEIRRE  ? "

Welcome Aboard Mr. President - December 4, 2016

PRESIDENT_KENNEDY_AT_DESK.jpg" CAPTAIN - President KENNEDY Has been Beamed Aboard "

   " I'm on my way SCOTTY "

     " Mr PRESIDENT -- WELCOME ABOARD  The STAR SHIP ENTERPRISE" 

       " I AM CAPTAIN JAMES T KIRK a REPRESENTATIVE OF THE UNITED FEDERATION OF PLANETS "

     " THANK YOU CAPTAIN - I DO BELIEVE AN EXPLANATION MIGHT BE IN ORDER "

      " IF I RECALL CORRECTLY IM IN THE SITUATION ROOM WITH THE JOINT CHIEFS  ATTEMPTING  TO PREVENT THE INITIATION OF A BOMBING CAPAIGN AND -  SUBSEQUENT INVASION OF  THAT  IMPRISONED ISLAND OF CUBA'

             " INDEED SIR YOU WERE - IT'S HARD TO EXPLAINE "

     "  BOBBY AND I BELIEVE THIS WOULD CERTAINLY LEAD TO NUCLEAR WAR "

                   " WRONG   RIGGED    "

  " SPOCK ? "

 

 

 

              " WRONG "

bait and switch ka boom !! - December 3, 2016

 

  "CAPTAIN - AMBASSADOR TRUMP HAS BEEN TRASPORTED BACKWARDS IN TIME AND  PRESIDENT KENNEDY HAS BEAMED ABOARD "

   " ON MY WAY SCOTTY " 

   " SPOCK - CAN FAT SLOB ROSIE O'DONNEL HAVE SOMETHING TO --

   " INDEED CAPTAIN - IT DEVOURED PARTS OF SPACETIME CREATING CURRENTS IN SPACE AND TIME"

   " Mr. PRESIDENT - WELCOME ABOARD THE ENTERPRISE I'M JAMES T KIRK REPRESENTING  THE UNITED FEDERATION OF PLANETS"

   " WHERE'S uh PEIRRE ? "   " ARE YOU C.I.A. ? "

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